WHY SHEPHERDS SHOULDN'T "SLEEP WITH THE SHEEP"

There is probably not one Pastor, minister, or church member that hasn't heard of some scandal in which the Pastor and one of the members of the church have had an affair.  This is not to sound judgmental because we have all sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.  My prayer in this post is to highlight why this is a bad idea and why Pastors and laity should avoid this at all costs.

1) Father's/Mother's shouldn't "sleep" with their children - The role of Pastor is the role of parent. To be a parent means to nurture and to provide. When a Pastor sleeps with their spiritual son or daughter you can only imagine the kind of confusion this causes in a relationship.  The "son" or "daughter" will have a skewed view of their spiritual "parent" and it will become increasingly difficult to hear from them spiritual truths for their life.  If Pastors truly care about their sheep they will not risk their spiritual growth on their "fleshly" desires.

2) It almost always ends bad - Take a moment to think of one "church affair" between and pastor and parishioner that ended up good..Now every now and then they may get married and live happily ever after.  However,  in most cases this is a trainwreck waiting to happen.  Sooner or later feelings will get involved, lines of communication will become blurred,  someone will get hurt, pregnancies become "hidden or avoided" , and the church usually always finds out. When Pastors "sleep with the sheep" they risk their ministry and the spiritual growth of their laity due to their now marred reputation of being a "sheep snatcher."

3) You can't "out preach" your life - While you may hide it from others. You can't hide it from God.  Of course we serve a God of grace, but with power comes responsibility.  Like anything, if you keep doing the wrong thing long enough it will show up in your witness, your lack of conviction when you stand before God's people, or even worse in some cases on Social Media.  Don't become a victim of 160 characters on social media or some blog because you chose not to exercise wisdom in this area.

4) This is an abuse of power - What many "sheep" that fall into this trap don't realize is that they run the risk of being manipulated.  They have no power. Think about it this way. You enter into a relationship where you have to remain a secret and then you have to deal with the guilt of others finding out when things go south. You can't say anything.  You cant tell anyone. You cant be seen in public together. You cant have the rights and priveledges you would in a different type of relationship.  Meanwhile the Pastor gets the benefit of being with you and every other "sheep" he chooses. Don't put yourself in this kind of powerless position.

5) Your Reputation Matters - At the end of the day reputation matters in ministry.  Bad news always travels faster than good news. Do each other a favor and help your reputation not be tainted by a lack of poor judgement.

At the end of the day we serve a God of grace. We know that God covers every mistake and pain we endure. Let's continue to turn to God in our weaknesses for continued grace, wisdom, and renewal.

HANDLING THE PRESSURE OF LEADERSHIP

Leadership is not easy and comes with its share of pressure. When there are so many obligations, demands, phone calls, texts, emails, financial obligations, and people that need your time and energy it can become mentally and emotionally draining. There is even more stretching of yourself if you have to balance a family and full time job on top of your leadership role.   Then there is the pressure... This is the "silent source of all of your stress."  What pressure you may ask?

Well, the pressure of letting everyone down and feeling like you have failed them.  Many leaders feel that letting others down is the biggest pressure.  However, I actually believe that for leaders the idea of letting themselves down is the biggest pressure. This idea of letting others down is very real, but I think it's wrapped up in the idea of letting yourself down.

 In many cases great leaders are their own toughest critic. That's why great leaders find it easy to be critical of others because they are even more critical of themselves   They are always asking what could I do better?  What could I do differently?  Would others lives be worse or negatively impacted If I give up or fail?  For leaders these thoughts are very hard to live with.  

There are not many great leaders that don't think about quitting on a weekly basis. What is interesting is that I believe that what keeps them from quitting in many cases is that they cant bare to deal with looking themselves in the mirror and knowing they let themselves down. The truth is leaders can always do something different and everyone elses life will go on just fine even if they stop leading tomorrow. 

But you cant escape yourself. You can get beyond your own thoughts of what could have been or what you cold have done differently. 

 Leaders have to live with themselves each second of every day. Imagine that. Living with the thoughts of your own toughest critic each second of the day. That's scary.. Thats why leaders must learn how to lead in a way that is healthy for the mind, body, and spirit and not wrapped up in the guilt and pressure of failing yourself.

Here are 5 ways to deal with pressure as a leader.

1) Delegate - Now this is easier said than done but the honest truth is if leaders don't delegate they will burn out. Find people to do the small tasks that take up time and energy that you could be spending on something else. There is only so much of you to go around. 

2) Find A Healthy Outlet - When leaders are on the verge of burnout they often flirt with "the dark side of self soothing". This can be in the form of anything from negative relationships to substance abuse. Leaders must be intentional about finding outlets like time with family, sporting events, or just rest in bed to avoid burnout.

3) Take The Pressure off Yourself - Most great leaders have something within them that says "I can handle it, I can do it, I don't need any help, I've got it all under control". These types of thoughts create doorways for leaders to take on more pressure.  Leaders must admit when they need help and when they feel overwhelmed.  People won't know you need help until you tell them.

4) Get Therapy - Getting therapy doesn't make you a weak leader or "crazy". It means you need someone to talk to that has no other desire than to hear you and help you. This is probably one of the best things a leader can do. Find someone professionally to talk to. Most leaders cant tell others their problems because in many cases these are the same people that depend on them for strength. Find someone to talk to that has no other role in your life other than to offer a listening ear and helpful feedback. 

5) Prayer and Meditation - This should not be overlooked.  To lead well I believe there must be a balance of the spirit with the demands of your life. Prayer and mediation give you the spiritual focus to help you handle your daily needs.  Spend time each day in meditation and reflection on why you chose to lead and how you can continue to lead from a healthy place. At the end of the day it is the condition of your spirit that will help you lead in a healthy way.

Men..If Women Are From Venus You Better Learn How To Speak “Venetian"!

I don’t claim to have all of the wisdom in the world but I do know one thing.  Fellas, if you want to experience a life of peace and prosperity with the women you love you better learn their language.  I don’t think most men take this as seriously as they should.  I have found in my dealings in relationships that men tend to see themselves as either the victim or the dictator in their relationship.  

These are two very wide extremes.  Now let me say that this may not be for every man to read but I believe it is safe to say we can think of a few men we know that are either playing the role of dictator or victim in their relationship. They are blaming too much on the women around them without taking honest inventory of themselves and their own faults. 

 Well, why do men do this?  One simple word. Insecurity.  Many men won’t admit that they are insecure in certain areas of their lives that cause them to either exercise dominating force in their relationships or play the victim role and point the finger at their lady and what their lady is or isn’t doing. Dude.. MAN UP .. STOP IT.

Fellas, the reality is you probably value peace of mind above most things.  If you are like me you may even value peace above some of the most basic needs men desire such as food, stability, or “physical touch.”  Well, let me help you.  If you want peace become an interpreter of your lady’s thoughts and emotions and act on them.  I promise it will come back to you with interest.  

Now, I hear you thinking to yourself “so you want me to be a mind reader?”  Well, not so much.  I’m just asking you to PAY ATTENTION. If you pay attention you will show yourself to be a true “wizard of your woman’s ways.”  I dare not claim to be a perfect 10 in this category but let me tell you some simple ways to get more joy,  fulfillment, and peace out of your relationships with the women in your life.

1-   Think About It And Do It Before They Have To Ask – I say it all the time.  I don’t care what year it is most women still want a man to lead.  There are probably some simple things you can think of that she may need help with.  Picking up the groceries, cleaning the car, or picking up the kids from daycare. If you think about it before they ask you are well on your way to being more of the man you desire to be and not to mention having a better relationship with her. PAY ATTENTION. Ask yourself what do they do in their daily routine that you can help with? What do you see them do each day that you can start assisting in? START THERE! PAY ATTENTION! DO IT AND STOP WHINING!

2   2-   Just Listen -  I have found that many women don’t want a solution to their problems they just want you to listen.  Many times you may want to solve the problem. This is just in our nature. Now if they ask you for a solution to a problem be prepared to give your feedback.  However, if you just listen you will find it’s actually more beneficial for them.  Often times your lady will just need to get some stuff off her chest.  You may see it as “nagging” or “complaining” and to be honest it may stretch your patience.  However, if you can learn to just listen and give honest support you will find that after she feels heard she will feel more connected to you and open to your thoughts. 

3   3-  Most Women Drop Hints, They Don’t Always Say It – Have you ever been frustrated because you are trying to figure out what exactly she wants you to do?  If so you are not alone.  I am not 100% sure why this is the case as of yet, but I think it’s because many women want you to do something for the simple fact that you want to do it, not because they ask you. 

       Let’s give some examples.  If she says” Honey, have you noticed that some of our dishes are chipped”?  This could be a hint that you may need to take the initiative to purchase some new dishes.  Now you may say to yourself. “she didn’t ask me to get new dishes.”  I say to that “Bingo. That’s the point. She doesn’t want to say it , she wants you to say it and follow it up with action.” 

       Let’s say she says “I’ve been in traffic all day, is there any food at the house for dinner?”  This could be a hint that she would like some help with dinner that night.  Now you may say “but she didn’t’ ask me to cook dinner!”.  I say to that “you are right, she doesn’t’ want to ask she wants you to do it because you are willing and able to help”.  

  

      Here is the BIG ONE. Let’s say there is something around the house that is broken.  If you are like me you are not the most handy person.  However I’ve found that if you can fix anything that is broken for your lady before she has to ask you, she will be extremely appreciative and will reward you in her own way and that can be a VERY good thing.

I hope this helps someone.  Let’s pray.

 Lord God help me to learn the communication styles of the ladies in my life.  Help me to love, serve, give, be patient, and act on all of our needs to produce a peaceful and prosperous life.

 In the Name of Jesus Amen!

Jonathan Richardson, M.Div. is the Pastor of Faith Forward Church 

 Faith Forward Enterprises, INC. and Faith Forward Group, LLC.

www.REVJRICH.com

3 SIMPLE THINGS EVERY MAN CAN DO TO WIN HIS WOMAN'S HEART AGAIN!

I will start with a disclaimer and say that this may not apply to everyone.  However, for those that will receive this tidbit of wisdom I believe there is still hope for you to “WIN YOUR WOMAN’S HEART AGAIN.”  Do you remember when you first met?  Do you remember how fun and exciting those times were?  Now ask yourself why.  The truth is as your relationship grows things will change as far as your relationship but EVERYTHING DOESN’T HAVE TO CHANGE.  You can still experience many of those same feelings you had in the beginning of your relationship.   

Here are 3 quick things to help you WIN YOUR WOMAN’S HEART AGAIN.

11-      DO MORE! AND STOP POINTING FINGERS AT WHAT SHE DOESN’T DO-   Here is something that is pretty consistent.  I believe most men play the victim role when they feel they are not getting what they “deserve.”  Most men say well “she doesn’t do this, and she’s not that.” Well newsflash, YOU ARE NOT A LOT OF THINGS YOURSELF!  The truth is neither of you will meet all of the other persons expectations.  However, I’ve learned that men can’t play the victim and lead.  SUCK IT UP. If you want a better response put out more effort and take the initiative.  YOU COOK. YOU CLEAN. YOU PICK UP THE KIDS FROM DAYCARE.  Yeah you might have a lot on your plate but so does she.  As soon as you take accountability and do what’s in your power you will see her slowly open up to you more and you will get more of the response you are looking for.

2 2-     STOP SAYING NEGATIVE THINGS- There is an old saying that says “you catch more bees with honey.”  I am not sure if that is actually true but I do know that most men say negative things to their lady and expect a positive response.  THIS COULD NOT BE MORE WRONG.  She will probably be less likely to show you the kind of response you want from her if you are spouting harmful words.  If you want your lady to be more open to you SHUT UP AND THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK. Stop saying things that are negative and mean.  Now , you may think these things from time to time but here is what I have learned.  Most negative things are said as a reaction to something that you may feel in a moment.  There is a difference between a “response” and a “reaction.” A reaction is something that happens out of your feelings.  A response is something that comes after thought and careful consideration.  If you want to win the heart of your lady start “responding” more and “reacting” less.  Ask God for wisdom on how you can respond with words that will be gentle yet clear about what you desire.

3 3-  BE THE MAN. I may be old fashioned but I still believe the man is the HEAD.  This doesn’t mean the man is the boss.  This means the man is the LEADER.  If you want to be the leader that means you must embrace what comes with leadership.  Leadership is sacrifice. Leadership is inconvenient. Leadership means you have to constantly be thinking about everything in your care. Leadership is a greater form of service in disguise.  I believe every woman no matter how strong she is wants to count on her man to LEAD.  START LEADING!  You put out a vision for the house. You put together a plan for you finances.  You take the initiative in organizing the way your lives should go. You become more strategic about everything under your care. Now of course you want to collaborate with your lady in all of these areas.  BUT JUST BE THE MAN.

I pray this is helpful and to the point. Let’s pray. Lord God help us be better men. Help us to lead and love as you have loved us. In the name of the Lord Jesus. Amen.

Jonathan Richardson, M.Div. is the Pastor of Faith Forward Church 

 Faith Forward Enterprises, INC. and Faith Forward Group, LLC.

www.REVJRICH.com

3 REASONS TO PRAY FOR A CHURCH PLANT!

Church planting is a joy and a serious and strenuous task all at the same time. New churches have an opportunity to build something that will bless many!

   

As I take the time to think about what truly is meant by the great commission "to go and make disciples",  I thought of three reasons why you should pray for new churches to grow and impact the lives of their communities.

 

1)  New Churches Create Opportunities For Evangelism -When a new church is planted in a community she is able to reach new people.  

A church plant helps to attract individuals that may not have a church home, have experienced church "burnout" or church hurt, and inspire new opportunities to evangelize and disciple new believers!  New churches have an evangelistic mindset.   New churches are focused on who they can reach that may not be currently connected to a church home and sharing the love of Jesus with them.

 

2) New Churches Can Create A New Culture For Worship - 

One of the challenges of "established 

"churches is they can fall into a "dry" routine of worship.

 
 

When you do the same thing the same way for years there is a tendency to not be open to God moving in a new way that can bless people through a fresh impartation of God's Spirit.  New Churches have an opportunity to create a new culture for Worship that may be different from traditional settings.  New churches are open to God moving an in a new way to bless God's people in a new way.

 

3) New Churches Resemble The Closest Thing To The First Century Church The first century church was a radical group. They were ready to conquer new territory and spread the name of Jesus.  They also were a community focused on making a true impact! They were not focused on offerings or buildings, but primarily evangelism, signs and wonders, sharing all they had with each other and spreading the name of Jesus.  

This was the first century church and the church must always remember our foundation to remember our objective.

 

Today I'd like you to pray for Faith Forward Church and all of the new churches in the world.  Pray that God continue to bless them to multiply and make disciples!

Jonathan Richardson, M.Div. is the Pastor of Faith Forward Church 

 Faith Forward Enterprises, INC. and Faith Forward Group, LLC.

www.REVJRICH.com

"ALTAR-ATION"

I want to share a principle with you that can shift your life.  I want to share with you about the"Power of Altars".  In scripture Altars were a sign of worship, sacrifice, and change.  They were symbols of completing one phase of the journey, and a transition to a new phase of the journey. 

Throughout many passages you will find where servants of God built an Altar as a place of transition, reverence, and worship to God.

Whenever an Altar was built a sacrifice was usually made.  This sacrifice was a sign of worship and commitment to the change that would take place through that moment on the Altar.

Today we don't build "external" Altars necessarily but we can build "internal" Altars. They are places of "internal" change where our heart sacrifices something so we can transition to our next destination.  

Abraham made Altars as a sign of completing one phase and moving to the next phase during his journey. 

You will transition from the current place you are in and transition to your next level when you make a sacrifice on the Altar and move anything out of the way that is hindering your next level and your progress.

There is an old hymn "Is Your All On The Altar, 

"You have longed for sweet peace,

And for faith to increase,
And have earnestly, fervently prayed;
But you cannot have rest,
Or be perfectly blest,
Until all on the altar is laid.

Is your all on the altar of sacrifice laid?
Your heart does the Spirit control?
You can only be blest,
And have peace and sweet rest,
As you yield Him your body and soul."

Let's Pray.  Lord God, today I build an Altar of sacrifice and change to you. I will move forward with a new dedication and sacrifice to your will and your way.  I will see progress, increase, and blessings because of my "Altar-ation".  In the Name of The Lord Jesus. Amen.

Jonathan Richardson, M.Div. is the Pastor of Faith Forward Church 

 Faith Forward Enterprises, INC. and Faith Forward Group, LLC.

www.REVJRICH.com

EMOTIONS KILL PROMOTION!

Let me tell you a valuable lesson I have learned.  We are all emotional people. Our emotions have the ability to deceive us and trick us out of what God has for our future.  I will admit that I have done and said things in my emotions that in retrospect I didn’t mean.  I acted out of my feelings at the time.  There was a particular time I was “in my feelings.” After I reluctantly submitted to what God was saying in my heart I prayed and saw an image of generations that would miss blessings because of a decision I would have made in my emotions that day.

Here is what you have to know.  Your emotions are good and valuable, but you must control them.  You emotions will kill the promotion that God can have for your life and your future!

Jeremiah was an emotional prophet.  He is known as the weeping prophet.  He was ready to give up on everything.  He was very emotional.  He then had a moment of clarity in his emotions and said, “every time I try to quit I can’t  because it’s like fire shut up in my bones”!  You can’t quit due to emotions when you have a fire of purpose that is still burning!

Likewise, Saul had the same issue.  He was jealous of David the rising star.  In his emotions he tried to kill David and scripture even says because he couldn’t fully submit to God the “spirit of the Lord had departed from Saul.:” Wow… All because of his emotions.  David would go on to be King. David would be just fine because he was a worshiper, and he chose to worship even in his emotions. THAT’S WHAT WE HAVE TO LEARN! That’s why we have the Psalms that say “The Lord is my light and my salvation whom shall I fear.”  “The Lord is my Shepherd I shall not want.”  David was in his emotions but he chose to WORSHIP NOT, WIMP OUT! He was a man after God’s own heart!

GET YOUR EMOTIONS TOGETHER SO YOU CAN SEE THE PROMOTION GOD HAS FOR YOU!  EMOTIONS CAN KILL PROMOTION!

I speak promotion in your life this week as you overcome your emotions! As you seek God for his will the blessing will follow!

Let’s Pray, Lord God I thank you that I am stable in my emotions.  I thank you that I have overcome the power of Satan.  I thank you that I am going to prosper as I seek your will and overcome my feelings.  Help me to seek you, serve you , and obey you.  In the name of the Lord Jesus’ Amen.

Jonathan Richardson, M.Div. is the Pastor of Faith Forward Church 

 Faith Forward Enterprises, INC. and Faith Forward Group, LLC.

www.REVJRICH.com

4 WAYS TO LIVE A MORE "FRUITFUL" LIFE

Often times we want to see things happen around us. We want to see external blessings.  However, before we see external blessings often there has to be an internal change.  I have been in a transitional phase in which I am asking God to bless and multiply everything in my life in supernatural ways.  While in prayer I was asking God to “fill” some of the things I have been praying about. I heard in my spirit “I Will, But First I Have To Fill You.”

I believe external blessings actually begin with the power of an internal filling in our heart of God’s will, wisdom, and truth.  Here are some ways to get external blessings to manifest in your life.

1)    Stop Investing In Unfruitful Activity

Scripture tells us that we are called to bear fruit and that a tree will be recognized by its fruit.  If we are honest we have habits and relationships that are probably unfruitful yet we still choose to invest in them.  We have to cut these off by choosing to invest in the things that will show forth fruit in our life.  This is a choice. No one can make the choice for us. We have to make the choice ourselves.

2   2) Be Honest About Your Weaknesses And Ask God To Help You With Them

Often people fool themselves into thinking “they don’t have a problem.”  Some of the greatest people in scripture fell because they didn’t address their problems.  For Solomon it was women, for Saul it was pride, for Adam and Eve it was deception of the serpent.  We have to be honest and address the weaknesses in our lives if we want to grow.  We can’t do this on our own.  We need supernatural help and to ask God to grace us to manage and control our weaknesses.  You can’t do it in your own strength you need God to help you.

3)  Get Someone To Keep You Accountable

Recently, I heard in my Spirit “you need accountability”.  Here is the truth.  Everyone needs someone to keep them accountable, especially leaders. We all need to submit to someone with more wisdom and knowledge than us.  Pray on who will keep you accountable and consistent in your commitment to change and be fruitful.

4)  Give The Tithe

The tithe is still God’s supernatural way of blessing us.  God honors the tithe.  The tithe is holy to God.  We are asked only in one place of scripture to test God and to try God and that is in the area of the tithe.  He wants to bless us but the question is will we pass the test of stewardship?  Allow God to multiply you in supernatural ways by giving God his 10^% of your resources first.

These are not all of the things that will help you be fruitful but if we do them we can start to live a fruitful life.  Let’s pray, God keep me in a fruitful place. Keep me in a posture in which I desire to be fruitful in every area. Help me to grow and help me to prosper.

In Jesus’ Name Amen.

Jonathan Richardson, M.Div. is the Pastor of Faith Forward Church 

 Faith Forward Enterprises, INC. and Faith Forward Group, LLC.

3 WAYS TO REMAIN A GREAT SERVANT LEADER

Often times I say that “Leadership is a greater form of service in disguise”.  Many people desire a platform, but what they may not always know is what comes with the platform they desire.  As a Husband, Father, Pastor, and Leader in the civic community I often get compliments on how great I’m doing or how blessed I am.  While I agree totally, I sometimes think to myself “if they only knew what it costs”.  I think the challenge of being a great leader is to be able to keep the balance between your platform and your purpose.   Leading will cost you something and it’s at times easy to get caught in the “glitz and glimmer” of leadership.   Don’t ever allow where you are to get to your head.  You have to keep the purpose and the reason you wanted the platform in front of you.  This is why as leaders we must always focus on service first.

Even Jesus said “the son of man did not come to serve but to be served..”  He also stated that “the greatest among you must become servants”.  This my friends is the focus we must keep as leaders.  We are “servants” first!  Understand that the higher you go in the eyes of others the more demand is placed on you and the more you must serve. Here are 3 ways to remain a great servant leader.

1) To remain a great “servant leader” Step out of Administration and into Conversation

-          Often times as leaders we get so busy putting the pieces of the puzzle together we forget that people are our greatest resource.  We have no one to lead if we don’t have people that will follow us.  At times we need to take off our administrative hats and have some meaningful conversations with the people we lead.  We must take time to really get to know what’s on their heart, what their concerns are, and how we are called to assist them.  This will connect our hearts with the people we serve and allow us to serve them better.

2) To remain a great “servant leader” Step out of Position and step into Permission

-          A powerful quote by John Maxwell  is that “people have to give you permission to lead”.  While you are placed as the leader that does not mean people will follow you.  Whether you know it or not people are screening you to see if you can be trusted with their loyalty.  The way to influence people to follow you is to build genuine relationships.  Give them a call out of the blue.  Send them a nice card.  Stop by one of their kids baseball games.  These simple things help people to embrace you as their leader and commit to your vision.  As they say “people don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.”

3) To remain a great “servant leader” Focus on the Reason as much as the Revenue

-          Yes we know that “money makes the world go around.”  Let’s be clear you need money to run your organization but is that all this is about?  Is it just about money, or is it about doing something to help people.  Even if you are running a top corporation that brings in millions of dollars a year there has to be more of an intrinsic desire to do more than just get a paycheck.  You need to desire to make a difference.  Now you need money because It’s hard to help others when you are broke.  However, let the focus be the greater cause and why you truly desire to lead and the succeed.  If you keep the reason before you the revenue will come. 

Jonathan Richardson, M.Div. is the Pastor of Faith Forward Church 

 Faith Forward Enterprises, INC. and Faith Forward Group, LLC.